The Lancer Way: Amanda Argomaniz
4/21/2022
The Lancer Way is a platform provided by California Baptist University's Athletic Department that allows student-athletes to share their stories. All of the words are their own.
Written By: Amanda Argomaniz, Softball, Sr., Riverside, Calif.
Stigma: a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person.
For the past 16 years, I have dedicated my life to the sport of softball and am so thankful for everything that has been given to me because of it. Unfortunately, as athletes, we are faced with many stigmas throughout our lives. It has made us afraid to ask for help or embrace who we are.
I began my college softball journey at a school in Virginia, and as a Riverside native, this was a big move for me. Learning to live without my parents and sister was hard. What made it even harder was the battles I was facing. I always felt like an outsider on my team, and it was hard to make friends with them. I was excluded from team events and always felt like I was on my own.
Luckily, I found some friends outside of my sport to help me, but it was not enough. I soon began to question why all this was happening to me. My family would hear me call them every night crying. They always offered me an out, but that wasn’t me, I wasn’t a quitter, and I would see it all the way through.
Those who know me know that I am a shy, independent person. I tend to do things on my own and want to succeed in all that I do, some might say a perfectionist. My parents knew something was up when I decided to go to the school counseling center to ask for help. This exposed some of the mental struggles I had been facing but had always ignored.
I went home for Thanksgiving break and ended up becoming sick with pneumonia. Going back was tough, especially because I felt even more alone than before. I had a few teammates who would help me out during that time, but I still felt alone even with their help.
This was a hard time in my life in every aspect, even religiously. I would constantly ask if everything happens for a reason, why am I fighting this battle? What is it going to do for me in the future? It was hard for me to understand what was happening at the time.
ARGO ??!!
— California Baptist Softball (@CBUSoftball) March 17, 2021
Amanda Argomaniz blasts a two-run shot in the second as the Lancers build an early lead!#LanceUp?? pic.twitter.com/yDtDbwKF2i
A month later, I went home for Christmas break, and I will never forget the sunset that I saw that day. I took a picture of it, and a premade caption came up. To my surprise, it was “everything happens for a reason.”
Before my birthday in January, I decided to enter the transfer portal. After talking with my loved ones, we all thought it would be best for me to do so. The next thing I knew, I was on campus at California Baptist University.
Being shy, it was hard to make friends at first, but this was the best decision I have ever made. I felt like I was finally a part of a team and found my home.
Unfortunately, the mental health struggles I had been facing were still present. I tried to ignore them because I thought that’s what we’re supposed to do as athletes. There were so many stigmas about mental health in athletics that I was afraid to mention anything. Sadly, this led to a dark time in my life.
Coming back for my junior year, I was noticeably off. I just wasn’t acting the same as I usually do. Fast forward to season, we are almost at the halfway point when my world came crashing down. I will always remember our amazing mental health coach Dr. Ed Garrett saying that sometimes God brings us to our knees by force, and this was one of those times.
?? WEB GEM ALERT ??
— California Baptist Softball (@CBUSoftball) March 6, 2020
Don't test Amanda Argomaniz at first!#LanceUp?? pic.twitter.com/1iexhIJeFB
All of my struggles finally came to light. I had to take a break from softball and school and go home. I again thought to myself, “Why is this happening to me? Why do I keep having this problem?” I was so embarrassed at the time, I thought my team and everyone around me would think less of me.
I finally got the help I needed, and my whole life changed. Embracing who I am and my struggles have made me a much stronger person. I finally realized that this was happening to me so I could help others. God gave me this journey so I can help everyone who needs it.
This is why Jeremiah 29:11 is my favorite verse. It reads as “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'”
I am forever thankful to Coach Baber, Coach Brittany, Coach Amy, and Coach Cheyenne for being so kind and understanding. If not for them, I wouldn’t have gotten the help I needed. I truly am so thankful for all of the opportunities they have provided me. I am also so thankful to my parents, my sister, and my teammates for being the best people I know. I’m who I am today because of them.
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— California Baptist Softball (@CBUSoftball) January 19, 2022
Amanda Argomaniz talks about having family on the field with her at CBU and the competition level on family game night as she joins Braiden Bell for the newest episode of ???????? ??????????.#LanceUp?? pic.twitter.com/RgFO1yV6Ao
My goal is to help those who struggle with these issues. Being an athlete does not make us exempt from these problems. We are all human and face trials in our lives that we must fight to overcome. Many professional athletes, even Michael Phelps, talk about their battles with mental health.
I feel as though we as a society are getting better at asking for help but are still afraid at times. Asking for help is something that should not make us feel ashamed. Many organizations, including the NCAA, shed light on this issue, such as athletes against anxiety and depression.
I hope that sharing my journey can help anyone that may be going through a rough time. It is ok to find help and lean on those who you love. God puts these battles in our lives to make us a better person and allow us to help others.
I am so thankful for everything He has given me, and I am at peace with truly knowing that everything happens for a reason.
